When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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