You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Randomize
