please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
