remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I could fuck to npr.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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