what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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