the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
