Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
