I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
