Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
