Can Purell be used as lube?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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