I wish you could order shots online.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
