I think i sorta joined a cult last night
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
