just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
