wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
