yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
