I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
stop calling my apartment porn island.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
