You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
These tits shall not be calmed
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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