I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
