i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
