WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Randomize
