I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
