yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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