One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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