if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
