is your mom at the bar?
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
