u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
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