question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize