The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
This girl is more easily done than said...
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
