Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Randomize
