I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Randomize
