why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
