he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Randomize
