I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
