I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
