saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
worst night to have a conscience
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
