I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
we're making bets on your personal life
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
