she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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