Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize