I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Randomize
