I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
