he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
