so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Randomize
