return my video game
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize