She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
