Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
There r osticjed everywhere
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
