I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
is it fun? or sober?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
