so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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