I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
