Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Randomize
