he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
