I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize