john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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