And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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