I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize