even my farts smell like vagina
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
