I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
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