They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
