id be glad to
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
