Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
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